


farming and the mastery thereof, as taught by the criminally insane

by watername



Category: Dollhouse
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watername/pseuds/watername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Still, it bothers him sometimes. His neighbor has vindictively planted carrots right along their fenceline.  (farming AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	farming and the mastery thereof, as taught by the criminally insane

Everyone knows he’s insane.

Everyone knows he’s got very verdant carrots.

Victor cares more about the latter than the former. His own are average, at best. His vegetables never, ever seem to sprout or develop or manage anything more than limply taunting him with their could-have-beens. 

He is, however, excellent at flowers. It is a fact that he somehow feels that he should be embarrassed about - like he should be doing something more useful - but they’re his. They’ve grown. They even sway in the wind, instead of sagging pathetically to the dirt - unlike some tomatoes he could name.

Still, it bothers him sometimes. His neighbor has vindictively planted carrots right along their fenceline. 

Finally, he’s had enough. He parks himself on the porch at 10:00 at night (there’s only a 2% chance of vampirism - he’s seen garlic bulbs over there - but he does have to wonder) and waits. 

He falls asleep at about 2:00, and wakes up to see someone sitting across from him. He is about average height, has red hair (45% chance), is wearing a wifebeater, and is looking at him like he’s wondering what he’ll look like with slightly less skin in strategic places.

Victor straightens up in his chair, looks him square in the eye, and blinks when his neighbor suddenly thrusts out his hand. It’s full of carrots.

His neighbor drops the carrots in his lap, presses his finger to his lips, and smiles. 

It’s the most terrifying thing Victor has ever seen, he never tries the carrots, and he throws himself wholeheartedly into cultivating his begonias. He tries to ignore the fact that his vegetables are being tended to even though he never looks after them any more.


End file.
